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The 2024 Bedroom Sessions

by (caruvana)

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1.
I come to you with guitar in hand to tell you a story I hope you'll understand that behind those closed curtains there's nothing to be afraid of and if you grow uncertain just ask what you are made of I came to you with some hope in hands just sat by and watched as you cultivated the lands and I saw a star fall right before my eyes or was it just you in a clever disguise? || and, Crystalline, if you're afraid of the dark || just take my hand and on this road we'll embark || let's take a gamble, find out where we land || by your side I'll still be - I'll write your name in the sands and you were like the flowers in spring just blowing in the wind, and I could hear you sing these words of enchantment that captured my heart and from that still moment, I arose from the dark and on the dock, where that night we stood I told you not to worry; I did what I could and as you began to whisper your fears into my ear I wrapped my arms around you - I'll always be here
2.
The Music 03:20
finally, a piece of you has washed away into the sky finally, I know my place, I've found my space away from you and I know it's not hard to love another woman but then again, how do I find her? can I find her? || a lot has changed since you || since you forgot about the music waiting on this emptiness to leave me for a while but at least I'm better than I've been I've been making some new friends for distraction and I know it's gonna take some time to pick me up but I'm tired of waiting...
3.
flowers 04:11
heavenly flowers, flowers falling around me heavenly flowers, flowers redefining history I never thought I could love the way I did back then oh, it's started all over again I never thought I could live the way I did before like I did before heavenly flowers, flowers floating into the sky heavenly flowers, flowers when I look into her eyes I never thought I could feel the way I feel right now oh, I'm falling, I'm falling again I never thought I could crash the way she makes me crash and crash... heavenly flowers, flowers turn for another wind heavenly flowers, flowers won't let me come in
4.
she’s flying like an angel, impervious to time the rain that falls from cloud lines just easing up my mind and I swear that when the sun falls past that crooked Texas sky as I’m laying down to slumber you’ll be on my mind she tiptoes in the twilight and floats around the day she burns the sky with orange at night she brushes grey when the stars roll in and dot the sky like burning gems of age the hands of time preparing the turning of a page the moon is slowly creeping to illuminate the night the stars you left when leaving still are burning bright and when heaven brings me traveling to the opening of a door I will scatter petals across the desert floor a year has passed since winter the snow has fell and gone it doused your grace with envy jealous of your song and if the place in which you’re staying is a happy, comfy home well I bid you well forever and I’ll see you when I’m gone
5.
car broke down in Arizona I was trying to get away had no money in my pocket had to find a place to stay and all I packed were pictures of you the things I couldn’t leave behind but now I’m stuck here in the desert I’m just trying to survive || oh…. the world’s much bigger here in Texas the sky’s more empty in New York and if I knew you would be waiting I’d take a trip up to the north I heard your voice in Alabama I think it drove my mind insane withheld your memory down in Houston I felt you falling in the rain
6.
One Reason 03:30
give me one reason to do what I do yeah, I want a reason to do it for you and I want to hear your name coming from my voice and I want to bring down rain that’ll make my land moist show me your reason for dancing that way oh, we’re in season - don’t just walk away and I bet you can hear my voice from down the corridor and maybe you’ll see my face like you never have before || am I old or am I new? || how do I appear to you? || and am I smart or am I cool? || don’t tell me I’m just a fool || am i old or am I new? || how do I appear to you? || do you ever come undone || when I play this guitar, hun? give me a reason to look for hidden gold when I lose all breathing and step through your threshold I want to know your truth so won’t you lean close and scream it in my ear ’til I can’t hear…. what’s in store for me - have I been around too long? some image restored of me when I started to write this song and do you want to know my truth? well, I’ll tell it to you and it may sound uncouth, but what’s it to you?
7.
thoughtful words could never describe all the things that I feel tonight and, oh, the moonlight it never cut me so thin wishing to get lost in your skin so weak, the world surrounds me so hurt, you still astound me || save me, love me || touch me like your heart has never felt, yeah || hold me, grow me || savor ever wonder that we've built || don't let them fall || don't let me fall I'm waiting for something that's not there running my fingers through your hair and, oh, if you just let your feet touch the floor and come to me, I'll give you more so alone, I need you to save me so destroyed, I want you to crave for me
8.
quédate así que quiero estudiar tu cuerpo con mis manos navegar las olas de tu pelo olvidarlo todo y saciarme en tus ojos alcanzar el cielo colgado en tus labios || y bésame con tus besitos de puro café || despierta mi alma que esta noche no hay más nada que perder refúgiate en mis brazos hasta el amanecer y cuando salga el sol, que ilumina tu piel ese sabor de ti perfuma mi ser me hago eterno con tu desnudez
9.
Huellas 02:23
te cantaré mis canciones y te daré lo que tengo para demostrarte que este cariño es sincero y si llegas a olvidarme, te mandaré mil bendiciones pa' que sigas tu vida sin dolores es que no es suficiente con solo hacerte el amor después de compartir de mí todo lo mejor y aunque ya vamos a tener que partir ya dejaré en tu sangre huellas de mí
10.
La Musa 04:16
luna, por qué estás desnuda te quitaste la ropa bailando sin vergüenza y dime qué es tu secreto lo que llevas adentro porque quiero aprender a vivir así || y no puedo esperar || he estado ahogándome || en mis sueños, colgándote || estoy obsesionado con todo || tu boca y tus manos || y, luna, || no me dejes olvidarla || para saber que, en mi alma, || sigue la esperanza de volver a amar luna, ya casi llega el día y tú ya vas dormida el eterno baile de tu vida y cuando llega el sol cuál es el que te ilumina le daré las gracias por esta cita
11.
esta noche estoy viendo que ando medio loco busco unas palabras y no las encuentro desde que te fuiste me he quedado un poco mudo con los dedos congelados y los sesos en humo no me arrepiento de haber nacido pero te confieso que a veces duermo demasiado y cuando el sol clave sus rayos en mis heridas buscaré la forma de cegarme en tus pupilas últimamente, un desastre he sido no consigo cómo deshacerme de lo recibido y desde Saturno los satélites contestan las señales corporales que en mis sueños despiertan esta noche te recuerdo que ando medio loco busco algo de esperanza, pero nada consigo
12.
One Are We 04:03
I heard you walked into the dark where I hide inside myself I heard you bathed in all the rain that was pouring from my veins and I loved you like I never loved before but I turned back I felt you taking all of me everything I ever wanted I heard your drug was liberty a pill that blinds and numbs and I heard you smiled when you saw me but I turned back || must be something wild, must be something free || all the ways you crave for me || come taste my blood, come devour me || just come be infected with my disease I heard you walk into the dark where I've always been myself I saw you touch somebody else and that touch was lonely but in your cells you will believe that one are we
13.
graves 02:53
go bathe in him and let him wash through your bones and break your voice with a scream of passion let it drip down your leg down to the bed of my dreams, of my regret and let the fires burn through what's left of me in you and let him kiss you with his hands of flames while I dig your grave come back to me and see me drown just as you choke we still pretend we're not alone together as we undress to the rage of the moon we both beam with our regret come taste the ashes biting through the rest of you in me and we can laugh as though we're not blame while I dig your grave I've kissed the pieces of you already in the ground with all these tempests I can't ever explain well I'm in my grave
14.
you know me, the boy in sleeves trying to get myself together back into one piece well she was fire and I was a tree kept trying to yank my roots up so I could leave but there's no way to save a man who tied himself to illusions who thought he found his home and put it all in the arms of a woman well this is how it all began discreet looks, kisses, contraband my thought was two, but there were three the stuff of books was staring right at me she said "no" but I said "please" now that I've known the air I need your help to breathe and I don't care if you lie, I just want you to be loving me and she said "oh-ooh" well here I am, the square one man trying to chase her out the ridges carved in my two hands but where there's fire and thirsty land a hopeful heart's never to be found again now that she's gone maybe comes the muse of composition to come fill my hands with songs instead of destitution
15.
here we are again the same old lovers, same old friends here we go again recycled motions without an end and I know what you’re thinking you’re thinking that it’s alright that every pair is destined to dim in later life you’ve lost your taste for war with nothing to wager there’s none to gain with silence we could afford the blows of indifference the swiftness of age and I know what you’re thinking you’re thinking that it’s too late that we’ve been too long building this alter we can’t replace here I am again your same old lover, your same old friend with The Question and some hollow men if the doubt can detain us let us be condemned and I wonder what you’re doing if someone’s caught your eye have you quenched your thirst for fire is it merciless appetite?
16.
espero escuchar tu voz y sentir tu respiración por mi piel, sentir tu boca y que entre a mi corazón escuchar tu canto eterno dibujar tu silueta por dentro eres mi agua en puro desierto || es que me estoy muriendo por dentro sin verte || es que me estoy llorando mis penas, llorando mil penas || cargando cadenas por ti y tu vicio, maldito infierno || infierno que no lo soporto || mi vida, he perdido ya sé que estás muy lejos de mí y esta noche no podré dormir bailando, cantando mil glorias en el patio de nuestra memoria me ahogo en tu risa profunda me pierdo en tu piel desnuda recuerdos que matan

about

As suggested by the album title, all of the tracks here were recorded in my bedroom in a few sessions during April of 2024 with a ZOOM H4n. As such, ambient sounds ("field recordings," if you will) have found their way in and no attempts have been made to remove them. After recording, I applied some compression and reverb using Audacity. Otherwise, the recordings are minimally processed for a somewhat intimate and raw experience; you can experience every imperfection.

The songs included in this release span across my entire songwriting life starting around 2007: from Wichita Falls, TX, to Denton, TX, and finally to Kokomo, IN.

credits

released April 25, 2024

Vocals, guitar, cuatro, and harmonica performed by C. Caruvana. Album artwork by C. Caruvana.

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(caruvana) Kokomo, Indiana

just a boy and a guitar

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